Wonder, 4/28

On the MAX today, in downtown on my way out of Portland, twin eight year old girls got on the train with their mother and their mother's friend. Their eyes were lit up like they had just walked into a candy store, and energy was bursting from them as if they were about to explode the moment the train would actually start to move. They chose the sideways facing bench and sat up on their knees, their feet hanging off the seats, their hands and faces glued to the window, mesmerized with wonder and newness at the strange morphing scenery from downtown to the railway station and all the way up through north Portland, which offers a big park, old houses, abandoned graffitied buildings, and an array of particularly sketch hotels with flashy neon signs, all along the way dotted with bars and restaurants and at least one organic grocery store (they're not just for rich people in Portland). Right next to their seats was the junction of the train car, and with the slightest turn one would call to the other as the accordion walls would crunch together on one side and stretch apart on the other and the ribbed lines on the floor would deviate all at once in a semi-circle. Oos and awes followed and then right back to the window. Numerous times in their wonder their mother had to tell them to settle down. They were clearly wired with excitement.

With straight nearly-black hair and thin-framed glasses, they reminded me of me at that age (except I had the stylish glasses of turn-of-the-decade 1990), when everything was grand and new and sparkled with the adventure and anticipation of the unknown. Whatever was around the corner was clearly going to be amazing. How could it not?! I have never forgotten that wonder, what it feels like surging through your body. As I sat there, delighting in their excitement, I remembered being that excited on the MAX at their age and I wished I could experience life like that again.

But wonder like that doesn't come around much anymore as an adult. Life gets heavy and full of responsibilities, both personal and community. The sadness of the world's depths of darkness weighs on us. Wonder doesn't come in giddy energy. Instead, I think as we get older and busier and more full of things to know, wonders come in the small moments, in the whispers, in the split seconds, in the every day, little spaces of goodness and beauty.  Sometimes we have to look for them. Sometimes they look for us. But now and then they just show up on the train with their own wonder to share and remind us why it's good to always know children and to once in a while be a little giddy. When we see the world through their eyes, we remember it is spectacular.  

As I was getting off that train I wanted to turn and say to them, never lose that spirit! But I didn't. I just walked on by and stepped off the train. I hope they had a fun day.  And I hope, by some chance, that I may see them again on the MAX.  Hours later, I am still marveling, and it is still making me smile.