January 6

A great friend of mine moved from Newberg to Portland today.  This translates as her moving from a place I can’t get to, to a place that is easily accessible by bus.  I’ll be heading out to church in Portland on Sunday evening, something I am very excited about because I have not been able to go for over a month.  This friend will be joining me, and then we are getting together for lunch on Monday and hanging out for a while afterward.  I can’t explain how happy I am for this.  I have a lot of friends, friends who are scattered all across the country and the world.  Unfortunately, none of my close friends are near enough for me to see often, or even seldom.  I have not hung out with a friend since my trip into Newberg in September.  

While I don’t feel expressly lonely, it is an isolated existence in some ways.  I spend the majority of my time with people who don’t know me and don’t care about who I am.  They care only about how productive I can be for the company.  It is no wonder I feel so discouraged and frustrated.  It is a discouraging way to live!  While I’m not quitting Victoria’s Secret any time soon, I can say I’ve had enough of working jobs where I’m replaceable, so replaceable that the atmosphere of the place doesn’t change from one worker to the next.  I want to matter in a a job and I want my job to matter to me.  Better yet, I want to love what I do.

I sure do pray that things change for the better soon.  Especially because I have more bills coming due soon to pile onto the ones I already can’t pay.  Dear God, I owe a lot of money because of college and seminary.  All I ask is for paychecks to cover them.  Of course, I’d also like to ask for the finances to pay them all back much sooner than I could dream for.  Specifically in the form of, oh...hmm...Sidney Crosby?